


Meihem Movie Night

by FunkyMeihem



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Meihem - Freeform, junkmei, meirat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 04:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11372973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FunkyMeihem/pseuds/FunkyMeihem
Summary: A short silly fluff story where Junkrat introduces Mei to his favorite series of movies...Of course it's going to be Mad Max.





	Meihem Movie Night

“Movie night! Movie night! Oi, Roadie! Where the hell are the clean sheets! I know you said we had some!” Junkrat called, his voice muffled from where he was buried halfway inside a half-broken wardrobe. Both arms moved rapidly in an almost digging motion, throwing out bomb casings, spare traps, scrap metal bits, and other garbage into a growing pile on the floor behind him. A few moments later, and he emerged holding an armful of white cloth that was streaked with black and gray. “You said you were gonna clean them! These ain’t clean!”  
  
The gargantuan junker didn’t look up from his book on the other side of the room, sitting on his special-made bench that was still starting to sag in the middle from the sheer weight of him. He had discarded his usual armor, and wore nothing but a pair of _Pachimari! Say Hello!_ print pajama pants and some slippers that might have been white at some point in distant history. “They don’t stay clean if you put dirty things on top of them.”  
  
“She can’t sleep on these!” Junkrat snapped, unfurling them and inspecting the grease and soot as though it suddenly bothered him, even as his own fingers left dirty prints on what remained of the white cloth. “I’ll go get some clean ones, love. They think I can’t get into that supply closet down the hall, but I know h-”  
  
Mei held up both hands quickly. “It’s fine, honestly. I brought a clean blanket just in case, I can sleep on top of it.” She held up one of her many cozy flannel comforters, this one a dark blue print that she knew would be the easiest one to clean after withstanding a night in bed with Junkrat. Even after showering, the man just attracted grime to the point where she honestly thought of studying him as a scientific anomaly. Her own sheets had testified to that many times over now. “This will be just fine.”  
  
“Sleepin’ on top of it? What if you get cold?” Junkrat looked unsure, scratching at the back of his singed scalp.  
  
“Well…You’ll keep me warm, won’t you?”  
  
A pleased flush warmed his cheeks, his grin widening. “Yeah! Yeah I will!”  
  
“It’s not the first time I’ve slept over here, Jamie, you don’t need to make a fuss every single time. We can always go back to my room again, and I’d hate to put you out or anything, Mr. Roadhog.” She glanced over to the larger junker, who merely turned another page in his book.  
  
“Mm. It’s fine.”  
  
“Naw, you ain’t putting him out. Or me. Just thought I’d really remember the damn sheets this time…Well, if it don’t bother you, just sleep on your blanket and I promise I will keep every little bit of you nice and toasty.” He licked his chops rather lecherously, and she half lidded her eyes at him as he continued. “From your cute lil’ button nose, all the way down to your adorable little toes, and then maybe back up to your-”  
  
“Jamison!” She elbowed him hard in the side before he could finish the thought. “ _Tài dà shēng le_! I’m going to get changed. Jamie, you get the movie queued up. Mr. Roadhog, would you keep him away from the food until we’re all ready?”  
  
Junkrat was already starting to creep towards the table, where two large bags of Chinese take-out (with the closest things she could find to her native cuisine) were steaming merrily away into the air. Roadhog nodded, and then launched out one enormous hand, two fingers that were as thick as Mei’s wrist suddenly pinching onto the top of Junkrat’s ear and pulling him away as the younger junker complained loudly, single foot scraping for hold. “Owowow! I was just going to get a whiff, mates, swear it!”  
  
“Well last time we had to order more because all Roadhog and I had to eat was soy sauce, after you ‘whiffed it’ all with your mouth!” Mei called back, shutting the bathroom door behind her.  
  
She was fairly certain she heard him call something crude about the other ways he was going to use his mouth, but she merely rolled her eyes, navigating the disaster zone that was the junkers’ shared bathroom. It looked like someone, probably Roadhog or one of the cleaning bots, had at least made an effort to do some repairs and tidying up, but there was still a fine layer of soot on every surface, cracked tiles on the floor and walls, Junkrat’s signature smiley face drawn in soap on the mirror, and a hastily patched ceiling where he had been caught making an escape tunnel above the toilet ‘just in case’. Still, even all this was an upgrade compared to the first time she had ventured in here…She shuddered a bit, trying not to think of it as she changed into her pajamas and plucked out her snowflake pin, hair tumbling down around her shoulders. She heard the sounds of a scuffle outside, but after hearing a thump and a few indignant squawks, she was fairly certain who had won.  
  
By the time she padded back out to the main room, the movie was paused on the title screen, and Roadhog was sitting on the ground with his book, his enormous weight pinning the scrawny flailing form of his employer under him. It was amazing that Junkrat hadn’t been completely crushed, but he was still putting up a rather vicious fight, swinging both fists uselessly against Hog’s legs. “Oi! Get off, you giant pig of a drongo! Mei! Mei, darl, gimme a hand here! Do you see what I got to deal with every day?”  
  
Mei shuffled past him, polar bear slippers passing inches away from his seeking arms as she went to the table, counting over dishes and setting up drinks. Satisfied, she nodded to Roadhog a moment later. “All right, it’s still all here. Come and get it. I ordered your favorite, Mr. Roadhog! Baozi dumplings!” She held up one of the bags, bulging from the amount of food meant all for him.  
  
Roadhog huffed inside his mask, groaning as he shifted his immense weight up off the floor, abandoning the rather flattened young man under him still half pressed into the linoleum. He settled down onto a half-broken armchair a moment later, which creaked ominously under him. “Mmm. Thanks.”  
  
Mei nodded, busily setting up the other bag of food and popping the tops off of several bottles of Chinese beers, taking a seat on the sagging couch and leaving Junkrat to peel himself off the floor and stagger towards her. “Jamie, there you are!” she called cheerfully. “I ordered you some char siu barbecue and chow mein…and for me, vegetarian _luóhàn zhāi_ and zongzi!” she said, ignoring the face he was making at the pile of vegetables and greenery that made up her own dish.  
  
“Still not too late to share a proper tucker with me, love,” he said, wrinkling his nose before turning more eagerly on the piles of pork and noodles in his own take-out box. “Come on, come on! There’s a reason they always try to make tofu taste like somethin’ else, ya know. Crispy pork belly, now, that’s a meal. Can’t believe I was missin’ out on all these China dishes before, you lot can make even the arse-ends of the animal taste good! Uh..uh, _xièxiè. Hǎochī_? Means uh, tasty, right?”  
  
“ _Hǎochī_! That was very good! And also, no thank you, I’ll leave the meat to you two,” she beamed, even though his accent mangled the syllables. She sat watching as Roadhog set out stack upon stack of trays of bao buns, holding two tiny-looking chopsticks between his giant fingertips and lifting the edge of his mask, delicately starting to nibble with his scarred lips, above the mangled flesh of his stubbled chin. She looked away quickly after. It would be rude to stare, and even after all this time, Roadhog was still not keen on anyone seeing his true face.  
  
Maybe one day…  
  
“Oi, Mei. Got a treat for us tonight! It’s a Mad Max!” Junkrat joined her on the couch and covetously pulled his food into his lap, hunching over it like a vulture as he sipped his beer. Roadhog grumbled slightly around a mouthful of dumpling, and Junkrat shot him a glare before continuing. “We haven’t watched it _that_ many times, Roadie. And it’s a real good one.”  
  
“Is it a new one?”  
  
“Nah, one of the ones in the middle. It’s called Fury Road!” His eyes went dreamy. “One of the best ones. It’s got everything a man could want. Or, uh, a lady. It’s got everything anyone could want, I mean. Explosions, cars, fire, red storms, sexy ladies, more explosions, a guitar what shoots fire, cars, explosions, war boys, heroics, a guy who’s not all there in the head just like me but he’s still mostly good kinda, explosions…”  
  
Mei looked confused, chewing on a mouthful of sauce and broccoli and speaking around it. She could afford to be at least a little more rude around the junkers without them minding…or usually even noticing. “Mmf? Izzat shequel to Thunder Dome?”  
  
“Nah, nah, it’s like, I dunno, it’s all Mad Max but it’s not the same guy and it’s the same place but things are different.”  
  
“What?”  
  
“You’ll see! You’re gonna love it!” He crowed, and slammed the play button with one calloused thumb.  
  
Roadhog started in on his fourth tray of dumplings, and Mei leaned up against Junkrat’s side as they ate, the screen going dark as a guttural voice began to narrate an all-too-familiar tale to their rapt junker audience.  
  
_“My name is Max. My world is fire…And blood…”_

 

* * *

  
***  
  
  
The credits rolled.  
  
Roadhog was sitting in his comfy chair with his hands folded over his enormous belly, snoring softly inside his mask from where he had fallen asleep halfway through, abandoned empty trays scattered around his feet. Mei wondered to herself how he slept through a movie that was basically one action-packed and explosion-filled car chase, but she figured that he and Junkrat must have watched it a hundred times over, and he had probably lived and slept through worse.  
  
Mei lay wrapped in her blanket, head resting on Junkrat’s thigh, atop the striped boxers she’d insisted he start wearing at night. His flesh hand toyed idly with her hair, combing his fingers through the length of it as he asked aloud, “Well? What did ya think? Great movie, ain’t it!”  
  
“I liked it. And I can definitely see why you like it. You know, it’s pretty impressive considering how old it is.”  
  
“Right? It’s sort of like if the whole world ended, not just Oz. So, whaddaya think, I’m just like Max, ain’t I?” He fumbled with a lock of her hair, idly trying to figure out how to braid it. “Just like him.”  
  
She kept her head still, though her eyes rolled up behind her glasses to try and see him, the edges of his features blurred without her lenses. “You’re not Max.”  
  
“Oi!”  
  
“You know who’s Max? 76. The brooding soldier sort with the haunted past, and he mostly speaks in stern grunts?”  
  
“…You know what, Snowflake, I’ll give you that one.”  
  
“You’re more like Nux,” she said, sitting up. “…It was Nux, right? The nice war boy?”  
  
“Yeah! Arright, Nux is a good sort. Still think I’m like Max, though. Ya know, I used to joke around and call Roadie, Imporkan Joe. But he said he found it ‘distasteful’, whatever that means. What about you, you wanna be my ferocious truck-revvin’ Furiosa?”  
  
Mei smiled a little, starting to clear away the bottles and plates of bones and food scraps. “Oh, I’m not really the Furiosa sort.”  
  
“You can be a wife, then.”  
  
“So I’m one of the wives? Doesn’t that mean I belong to Imporkan Joe? Did the wives have names? I can’t remember.”  
  
“Of course they did! And you don’t belong to him, you can belong with me, that’s like the whole point.” He wrapped both arms around her waist, abruptly pulling her back into his lap and bringing his sharp teeth to nibble at her neck. “You can be Toast, she’s the smart one. Or Capable, she’s the brave one, and she’s in love with me. I mean, Nux.”  
  
“They have very strange names. Although I guess the junkers do too. How did you even choose Junkrat?”  
  
“Didn’t choose it per se, just sort of happens. You’d get a name too, eventually. Like…Mei the Mag, Mistress She-Panda, Frigi-vicious, or IceTits…”  
  
“Those are horrible!”  
  
“Don’t put me on the damn spot then, darl! I’m just sayin’, names happen. Take it from your favorite rat.” He soothed her with several kisses to the top of her head, even as she squirmed in protest. “Aw come on, we don’t have to decide on a name now, you can still be my sexy battle wife on the Fury Road…Kinda liking this idea more and more, actually. Say it with me, Mei. Sexy battle wife.”  
  
“Y-you spout the most outlandish things, I swear,” she murmured, looking away to hide the redness of her cheeks. “Although…”  
  
He brightened, smushing his cheek against hers. “Although?”  
  
“This might be the beer talking but I have a really silly idea and…Just go to your bedroom and I’ll see you in a minute?”  
  
Junkrat’s eyes widened, and he was so eager he almost threw her right off his lap in his excitement, half tumbling off the couch as his peg creaked in protest. “Bedroom! Right, yeah! Do I uh, do I need to get anything ready, or…?”  
  
“No, no, just…go in there and close your eyes, and I’ll be in before this idea has the chance to sound even sillier than it is,” she said, waving him off.  
  
The junker scrambled into his cramped sleeping quarters, a tiny side room from their main living area, with little more than his bed and an overflowing dresser full of his personal hoard. Hopping up onto the squeaking mattress, he waited. He heard the bathroom door open and shut again, over the sound of Hog’s snoring, and clamped both hands over his face when he heard a soft knock at his door. “All right, love! I’m not even peekin’, not even a little! Come on in!”  
  
He heard it creak open and shut behind her, before her voice piped up sheepishly, “Okay. Honestly, I just thought it might be fun, but now it seems a little…Well, you can look now.”  
  
He pried apart two fingers, one eye peeking through. Mei stood looking a bit embarrassed, wearing nothing more than the dirty off-white sheets from before, wrapped around her in a poor attempt to emulate the wispy gowns and cloth strips from the wives of the movie. It had ended up as more of a crude toga of sorts, and she had to keep one arm wrapped around her chest where the cloth kept falling away, and she laughed as she hiked the skirt back up around her hips.  
  
“I was just playing around,” she said, “Honestly, I don’t see how anyone could fight while wearing stuff li-”  
  
Junkrat’s arms were suddenly around her, and she found herself being dragged down onto the bed, dirty sheets and all. His dilated pupils stared up at her, rimmed with vivid yellow as he started to wrestle her down onto the mattress as she fought to keep her wraps in place, his toothy jaws already starting to kiss and bite hungrily at her exposed skin. “Nope!” he said, throwing one leg up to pin her hips into place, her ragged sheet-toga pulled up along with it. “Nope, you come in here dressed like one of my favorite things, you’re committed! Movie gets my blood pumpin’ already, and now you’re my sexy battle wife!”  
  
She tried to stifle a laugh, and it came out as a rather nasal little squeal as his fingertips tickles her bare ribs. “Jamison, _āi yā_! It was just a joke!”  
  
“No jokin’ now, love. This is serious as the grave,” he said, even as his maniac grin spread across his face. “Brace your tits for impact. Now I’m gonna take you for a _real_ ride on the Fury Road!”

 

* * *

  
  
***

  
  
Roadhog awoke, yet again, to the muffled sound of squeaking springs and moaning behind the door. Grumbling at the inconvenience, he shuffled a slippered foot amongst the discarded boxes to see if perhaps he’d left a dumpling behind.  
  
He hadn’t.  
  
Rubbing at his masked face wearily as he heard Junkrat crowing again about what a lovely day it was, in the middle of the damn night, he groped blindly for the remote. With a few clicks, the movie skipped back to the menu and restarted itself, as the narration started about fire and blood once more. He turned the volume up as the soothing sounds of explosions and bloodshed returned, drowning out the noises he knew were still happening in the next room.  
  
Folding his hands back across his belly, he bowed his masked head and fell back asleep.  



End file.
